AlphaHarlot Gives You Wood

There was another layoff at my day job last week while I was in Atlanta. I didn’t realize it till this afternoon when a two guys showed up to pick up their paychecks.
It’s always a bit awkward to see someone back in the office when they no longer work there. I never know what to say or how to act.
It’s just one of those social situations that I hate being in.

My boss pulled my department aside on Thursday to tell us that another person was going to be getting laid off on the 1st of March. She told us who…and it isn’t one of us, it’s actually this chick that we think sucks. Not that opinions matter much anymore, at this point, whenever anyone leaves it means more work for the rest of us.

I’m nervous…very very nervous that the end is near and that the time is coming when I’m going to have to take the plunge and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do next for a day job…if I decide to get a day job at all.

When I was shaving my head tonight, I got a bit frustrated with my lack of skills with my clippers. I would really really like to be able to cut and style my own hair. The thing is that I don’t even own a blow dryer, so I guess I’m like an edgy blank canvas…there aren’t many bad habits that I have to break or anything because I literally have no fucking idea what I’m doing…I just wing it.

That chick I banged a few weeks ago was a celebrity hairdresser, at least she claimed to be and her internet presence suggested that she was…Most of what she told me is all up in the air at this point but whatever…I’ll rephrase by saying that I was under the impression that she was a celebrity hairstylist.
I asked her if she would hook me up with a head shave and after I made her squirt cum all over her sheets a few times, she said ok.
She didn’t cut hair like anyone that I’ve ever seen before.
Her technique was different, she flipped her scissors around after each snip. I asked her what the technique was called and she said, “Nothing…just dope,”
I was very disappointed at that answer.
I’m a knowledge sponge and when people take for granted word and terms and techniques, it’s really a shame.
I went home to research and was only able to find one video on youtube of a chick cutting hair like she does:





(I hope that Des ends up reading this blog so that he can translate what the chick is saying…)
Picture if you will: I’m on my 2nd date with this chick. We fucked each other sensless and I”m about to leave. She starts whipping her VERY SHARP hair cutting shears around her fingers…
and I have to take my glasses off so I can’t exactly see where these sharp things are flying…
Lots and lots of trust I gave her.
Why do I do shit like that? I’m typing this out and I’m like, “Dude, that was fucking stupid,”
The haircut that this chick gave me took about 10 minutes…and she managed to poke 2 holes in her wall with her scissors because she was flipping them around like a crazy person…she also managed to cut off a CHUNK of the long hair that was on my head so the line between my shaved head and haired (not a word, run with it) head had to be moved back another inch.
She also said, “BAM! $200!” when she finished it to impress upon me the worth of the freebee that she just gave me.
That’s ballsy…to charge a person that much fucking money for 10 minutes worth of shoddy work.

I do fine cutting my hair by myself, but I’d really like to learn some technique. To be able to DO something instead of just putting a #2 guard on my buzzer and using my open palms as stencils so that I stay between the lines.
Maybe fade it up or make designs or something? I don’t know.
I just think it’s fun to have a blank canvas on the side of my head that I can do shit with.

Will I go to beauty school?
Not sure exactly.
This was just the first notion of the idea…but it’s something…
and that’s how a Master Plan begins.