I fucking pounded this week in the butthole and made it cum like a Pornstar. I’m not sure where the fuck my motivation came from or how I resounded to get my shit together, but I did.Even with the funeral that I had to attend on Tuesday night and my visit to the hospital last night to meet my new baby cousin, I was still able to stay on track with the bio writing to the point where I’m ahead of where I need to be at this very moment.
Now the trick is to just stay on top of it and not slack. Even one night with no writing totally throws the entire week off and I end up spending my weekends scouring the interwebs for random Porn Star facts when I could be doing things like reading books or relaxing…like regular people do.
There are two more things that I need to figure out how to schedule into my life now that I’ve nearly gotten the writing stuff sorted out.
I’ve got to make time for videos again because I know you guys all miss my content consistency and I’ve also got to find time to heal my body.
I sit in a desk for 40 hours a week…after work I’m sitting on my (very uncomfortable) couch for the duration of the evening…and then I sleep. My joints are tired and stiff and winter is slipping away which means that very shortly I’ll be able to resume outdoor activities.
I feel like my phobias and fears are unfounded and completely irrational…the only way that I’m going to be able to get over them and to change my life for the better is to face them head on and make the changes that I need to make.
Last night while I was in the hospital visiting my cousin and her new born baby, my aunt started talking to her about loosing weight so that she could get back to the size she was before the pregnancy (like a size 2 or something like that).
My cousin said, “I just don’t want to be fat, it’s ugly,” stuff like that doesn’t bother me. People have their opinions about body image and that’s cool…to be honest, my cousin doesn’t really like herself much so regardless of when and if she does loose the weight (I’m sure it’ll fall off of her like a prom dress) she’ll always have body issues because she isn’t cool with who she is as a person. What did bother me was the statement that she made after that comment. She turned to me and and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean you,”
I mean, of course she didn’t mean me. When she made the original statement, I hadn’t been offended.
The disclaimer offended me.
I need a push in the right direction to get healthy for my own good…so that I’ll be here fucking myself on camera for you guys when I’m 75 (can you imagine btw? I’m totally going to be a GILF only…you know, without the grandkids or any of that bullshit).
I keep thinking to myself every time I make the decision to get healthy that, “This is it. This time, I’m going to stick with it and totally change my lifestyle,”
I need some kind of balance…
For years all I’ve been looking for is balance…
between work and play…
between being a sex addict and celibate…
between being a friend and being an enemy.
I signed up for a yoga class this morning through Amazon Local. I’m thinking that the structure of having to GO somewhere instead of just making the excuse to sit on my couch will be a good thing for me.
Also, I’m going to get to look at hot chicks in tight yoga pants from behind. Not a bad deal.